Rocky Beginning

There comes a point in every person life when they become sick and tired of being mistreated. The people who you thought was your friends always judging you, never motivating you, making you feel like you do not belong. These are not true friends. True friends are the ones who loves you for who you are, who never get tired of hanging out with you, keep your darkest secrets, never talk about you behind your back but stick up for you when they do and many more. All my life I been challenging with who I am and I always put up with people picking on me. I start to believe that this is all I’m worth that I can never be nothing. I became depressed, i tried to physically harm myself, did poorly in school. Trying to find what my worth is, so i can be accepted by my peers. I had done everything that my “friends” wanted to do but what was all that for.  What was the point for this? Why was I doing this? I’m only hurting myself. Stages where I tried to act like everyone else and not being the person who I am. They raised me and taught me to be this other person that I can’t even recognize, showed me to put up the things i went through, to always try to impress the wrong people. How do you come from a very young, outgoing, playful little girl to this other person who always dress to please people, go along with everyone else, never thinking for my own self. I went through so many friendships with people that turns out they wasn’t really my friends. In each friendship, I had blame myself wondering what I did wrong, trying to chase after them. Even with guys, I felt like I was never loved like I just couldn’t be love or likable. I always tried to chase after guys, trying to impress them but nothing works. I started to believe I was just never good enough, that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Now, it’s a couple of days before my 20th birthday and I came a little far from where I was before. I had started to see who my real friends are and who are not there for me. Its amazing when you open your eyes and you can see things much clearer. I’m starting to find who I am. It may take some while but soon than later I will be the best darn person that I can be. There only one of us so why are we trying to be like everyone else. We was not put on the earth to be like everyone else, if so then everyone will all be the same, no kinds of uniqueness to each other. It will be a journey but I want to learn how to love myself, how can I be the best me that I can be.


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